This morning I woke Luke up by screaming at 7:00am, "Help, Help, Help!!!!!!!" I shouted. He came running into the living room, swerving around the toys all over the floor thinking that someone had died. Truly, he said he thought someone was dying by the way I was screaming. What needed such urgent attention was the fact that I went to burp Max after feeding him his morning bottle and realized that he had pooped ALL OVER! And by all over I mean, full diaper oozing over the top onto me AND the couch! Not only was it everywhere but it looked like runny red clay (due to his ear infection medicine..the doctor warned me about the red, however, she said nothing about the possibility of an explosion!). If I'm grossing some of you out you probably don't have kids and so then I'm sorry for the graphic descriptions. From now on I will refer to the poop as "red clay" as that is exactly what it looked like. :)
To remedy this problem I had Luke carry Max into his bedroom to attempt to discard of the "red clay". First though I had to take my clothes off and throw them directly into the wash. So standing in my underwear I attempted to gingerly strip down Max while containing the "red clay" to only one area of his bedroom. Luke was holding him at arms length and gagging. Which made me start to gag... there's something about seeing someone else gag or throw up that gets me every time. Since there was no way I was going to clean all of it off with just baby wipes into the tub Max went. There was so much "red clay" that we had to drain the water multiple times. Good thing Max likes the bath as he was having blast in there. At one point I had him lifted in the air with his bootie directly under the tub spout rinsing the "red clay" off... trust me, there was no other way.
Once Max was all clean and I had suitable clothing back one I went over to attempt cleaning the couch cushions. This is where those of you may start to cringe if you haven't already. My couch is a form of microfiber and I know it does not do well with water but I had no other choice. First, I have no carpet or couch cushion cleaner so I used dish soap... yes, dish soap. I figured that it was better than 409, pine sol or hand soap and that is all I had to work with. Worse off, I took the couch cushions into the bathroom and put them under the tub facet. As I said before, I wanted to contain the "red clay" to one area so why not wash them there. If I had a hose, I may have tried that. The dish soap worked very well and based on the look of my cushions now they may not be that badly damaged. If you have any tips on how to do this in the future they are more than welcome.
No pictures are going to be submitted along with this post as I want to spare my readers from gagging.